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Losing these spaces is a tragedy. Kinky men and women of a certain age likely have been doing this before the internet made kink accessible to everyone, before porn became what it is today, before information on fetish scenes was widely available. If your first night at the nearest leather bar is a letdown, try again. Fear coupled with desire leads us all here — eager, fresh-faced, and ready to learn. Loading comments… Trouble loading? You must put in the work and the communication to enjoy kink; the hardest part of which is letting yourself explore it when cultural teachings instruct us to feel shame and embarrassment for what we like. At the same time, Tom of Finland sketches of burly men in leathers and denim spread through nascent fetish communities pushing life to imitate art.

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You earn dominance.

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This is not a dig at your ability to navigate a leather bar as a newcomer. I am a sex-positive writer and blogger. DO get a harness. This is why we enjoy these spaces.

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Rising rents, competitor fetishes and competition from online dating apps have all been a turn of the screw.

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