It represented a kind of hope in the face of death and destruction. The only thing as familiar to me as my queerness is compromise. Queer communities, and more specifically gay communities, have always had a complex and messy relationship with the masculine. XXL is the natural conclusion of a gay culture that hates and debases femininity and faggotry — a gay culture that loathes not only women, but any sign and symbol of womanhood, and ultimately, loathes itself. I am a pansy. I am ashamed that I did not tell him to go fuck himself; that I didn't walk away.
I wasn't the first person this had happened to at XXL, nor will I be the last.
I invite you to reject the shame with me. These nightclubs and social spaces are cultural proxy battles, by which we tell people who should show up and who should not, who will be remembered and who will not, who is welcome and who is not — who ultimately matters in our lives and our spaces. Dazed media sites.
It has damaging repercussions, beyond purely aesthetic questions of who is considered attractive and who is not.