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There is no obligation to tell anyone about your identity. However, you are certainly normal. For centuries in Britain we were a mainly hidden minority, afraid to come out for fear of losing our families, spouses, friends, jobs and lives as we knew them. Transgender people are everywhere. Transgender people have few options for protecting ourselves from violence or seeking justice.

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At first, she still wore a suit for the voluntary work she did, although gradually that, too, began to change.

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'Age has nothing to do with it': how it feels to transition later in life

I tell myself first, repeatedly. For some, it is absolutely necessary. Later life is full of changes, she points out, from the end of a career to the death of a spouse. Transgender people come from all walks of life. If you choose to do this, you may need to come out to many different people. It was only in her 30s that she began to hear about sex-change operations, as they were known, but even then the idea seemed fantastical. You should definitely look for support when going through this process, from a therapist, a youth group, friends, family, and others.

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It was only after the children were grown up and the couple amicably divorced that Rose, now in her 60s, moved to a new town and began, increasingly, to live as a woman. Those seeking surgery in Britain were commonly told they had first to get divorced — which is why the travel writer Jan Morris travelled to Casablanca for the surgery she describes in her autobiography, Conundrum — or to renounce contact with children. When sharing sex toys, always use a latex or polyurethane condom with non-petroleum based lubrication. If you plan to pursue medical transition, it is important that your transition be supervised by a medical professional. When we read about people transitioning gender, the focus is often on teenagers; in an emotive debate about access to school changing rooms and Guides camping trips, older trans people are rendered almost invisible. But permanent transition did not feel like an option.

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